Not everyone is a morning person, or so I've heard. Me, myself, personally (in case there is any doubt of whom I am speaking), I am a morning person. When my alarm goes off, I get up. Heck, I will beat my alarm clock some mornings. My typical morning routine consists of a workout, checking and responding to emails while enjoying a cup of tea, or maybe reading a couple of chapters of whatever is currently on my nightstand. I like getting up in the morning and getting things going.
Imagine waking up one day and not being able to get out of the bed. I don't mean not wanting to, and thus hitting snooze five teams. I literally mean: not.being.able.to. You are fully awake, your brain is telling your legs to move, you can feel yourself trying to move your arms, yet nothing happens. In March 2009, this is what happened to me. I remember it distinctly because I had plans for the upcoming weekend with my gyrlfriends. We'd rented a condo in Savannah and I was looking forward to my gyrls getaway.
It was a Wednesday morning, I was wide awake, I had to report to work, but I could not move. AT ALL. I was used to being sore or stiff in the mornings. Who wouldn't be sore and stiff from working out 5 days week at 5:00 am and dancing 3 nights a week in addition to a full-time job and full-time doctoral studies? I was scared; but I chalked it up to my body being overworked. I called in for sub and then called my mama (I only call the doctor when my mama is not available). "This will pass," I thought. And it did for a little while. The next time it happened, about a week and a half later, I knew in my heart that my inability to control my muscles was more than a response to my being overly active. I just knew it wasn't that simple.
fast forward three years...
"You don't look sick to me."
"I never would've guessed you have lupus."
"You're so active, I wouldn't think anything was wrong with you."
"You don't act like you have lupus."
"Ain't nothin wrong with you gyrl."
These are just a few examples of the things people say to me. In their minds, they have a picture and profile of what defines sick. Apparently, I don't fit the image. Most people are not very familiar with lupus or its symptoms yet they know that I don't look or act like I have it. Amazing!
In medical terms, Systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE) is an autoimmune disease, which means the body's immune system mistakenly attacks healthy tissue. This leads to long-term (chronic) inflammation. In Quita's terms, this shit hurts. All.The.Time!!! It renders a person incapable of doing not big things-but simple everyday things that most take for granted. To add insult to diagnosis, the cause is not known. By all accounts, I have led a healthy lifestyle for as long as I can remember in my adult life. Eating right, exercising, not participating in any risky behaviors. This is not something that was supposed to happen to me. Yet it did anyway and everyday of my life brings new challenges for me.
So what am I supposed to do? Should I allow myself to be the victim or should I try my best to live the life that I have grown accustomed to? I'm sorry if I don't "look sick". I'm sorry if I only post pictures on Facebook in which I look good. I have to apologize if my activity level is still higher than people who suffer from no disease at all. Perhaps I should take a picture of myself crying at the gas station when my wrists are so inflamed that I can't remove the gas cap to fill up my car. Maybe people would feel better about my illness if chose to update my status with complaints of being in pain. Oh.....this is a good: I should make a video of my mama or my sweet thang having to brush my teeth for me because the joints in my fingers are so swollen that I can't even pick up a toothbrush, let alone use it. Would that make me look sick enough? Even if I did that, some people still wouldn't be convinced.
But here's the gotcha: I don't need to convince anyone. I live lupus everyday. Those who are close to me also live lupus everyday. It's not easy. Nor is it fun. For those two reasons alone, I cannot and will not give it any more power over my life. I do acknowledge my limits and I take heed when my body is telling me to slow down. But I won't walk around ashy-faced, nappy-headed, wearing tattered clothes for no damn body. Oh no! God has been too good for that! Yes, it is tough. Yes, I have had to cut back on many activities that I love; but there is no way I'm going to just sit down and be sick, look sick, or act sick. I will not walk around looking like lupus.
Candidly,
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Everything We Didn't Have
People always said I was spoiled growing up. I didn't see it. From what I understood of the word spoiled, it meant that I got everything I wanted when I wanted it. Well, I can definitely say that such was not the case! I didn't get half the stuff I wanted. I used to ask for a lot of stuff, but I didn't always get it.
I've been teaching long enough that I can pretty much figure out a student's home life without having ever spoken to his/her parents. Parents don't have (actually, won't make) time to talk to their kids. They have to work. They have to work to provide for their kids. They have to give their kids everything that they, the parents, "didn't have" growing up. It's not my place to tell parents how to raise their kids. Although I do know their kids' personalities very well, know their learning styles and what frustrates them, have to pet them when they are sad, encourage them when they feel self-doubt and check them when they get out of line; they are not my kids, and I have to realize that their parents have the right to raise them any way they see fit. Even if I think they are ruining them in the process.
You see, my students have a lot of stuff. They have expensive clothes, high tech phones/iPads, designer sunglasses, and some even drive luxury vehicles that cost more than what I earn in a year. If the goal of the parent is to give their kids everything that they didn't have, then I'd say they are right on track! If material items were all kids needed to develop into productive members of society then parents would be doing a stellar job. I just so happen to know, though, that its going to take a lot more than some Trues, Jordans, and fancy tablet to prepare kids for the real world. In giving their kids all that they did not have, parents have failed to give their kids all the things that they DID have.
Unless your parents are super young, you were raised by more than just your own parents. Nine times out of ten, grandmama, grandaddy, auntie, uncle, big cousin, and the nosey lady down the street, all had a hand in raising you. Hell, the neighborhood drunk may have even had to tighten you up a time or two and that was just fine with your mama and daddy as long as he wasn't telling you nothing wrong.
You had so much as a kid. You had parents who made you clean up and learn responsibility around the house. You had parents who were home every night and who actually knew what you had done all day long even if they had been working and couldn't be home with you. You had parents who in spite of financial difficulties, made sure that your basic needs were met and they made sure you understood that a child had to stay in a child's place-no matter how big and rusty your ass got.You had respect for adults. You knew not talk when grown folks were talking. You were courteous - you asked people how they were doing and you raked the yards or hung out laundry of old ladies in your neighborhood, whether they paid you or not. You had enough shame not to allow yourself to be seen doing or saying certain things in front of grown folks. You appreciated what your parents did for you, even if it wasn't always what you wanted. You knew that complaining about your teachers would only result in your parents telling you that if you'd only do what was asked of you, your teacher would have no reason to fuss at you. You had imagination. Because your parents didn't buy you every new toy you wanted, you were forced to go outside and find something to do. If you couldn't find anything to do, then you made something up. You had the things that mattered.
In spite of not getting everything I wanted, I can say that I did not lack for the essentials: food, shelter, clothing, and attention from my mother. My mama used to always say that my brother and I may not always have what was in style, but we would be clean and dressed neatly, our hair would be combed/brushed, and our stomachs would be full. She never let us down in that respect and if that constitutes us or me, being spoiled, then go ahead and change my name to Rotten! In fact, I wish more parents would "spoil" their children the same way that my mother spoiled me.
Again, I have no kids so what do I know? I am sure there are parents who can provide for their children AND instill values simultaneously. Sadly, though, most parents do not fall into this category. I just hope that more parents will realize that everything we didn't have pales in comparison to everything we did have. And, if it was good enough for us, why isn't it good enough for our kids?
If I didn't speak candidly, I wouldn't be me...
I've been teaching long enough that I can pretty much figure out a student's home life without having ever spoken to his/her parents. Parents don't have (actually, won't make) time to talk to their kids. They have to work. They have to work to provide for their kids. They have to give their kids everything that they, the parents, "didn't have" growing up. It's not my place to tell parents how to raise their kids. Although I do know their kids' personalities very well, know their learning styles and what frustrates them, have to pet them when they are sad, encourage them when they feel self-doubt and check them when they get out of line; they are not my kids, and I have to realize that their parents have the right to raise them any way they see fit. Even if I think they are ruining them in the process.
You see, my students have a lot of stuff. They have expensive clothes, high tech phones/iPads, designer sunglasses, and some even drive luxury vehicles that cost more than what I earn in a year. If the goal of the parent is to give their kids everything that they didn't have, then I'd say they are right on track! If material items were all kids needed to develop into productive members of society then parents would be doing a stellar job. I just so happen to know, though, that its going to take a lot more than some Trues, Jordans, and fancy tablet to prepare kids for the real world. In giving their kids all that they did not have, parents have failed to give their kids all the things that they DID have.
Unless your parents are super young, you were raised by more than just your own parents. Nine times out of ten, grandmama, grandaddy, auntie, uncle, big cousin, and the nosey lady down the street, all had a hand in raising you. Hell, the neighborhood drunk may have even had to tighten you up a time or two and that was just fine with your mama and daddy as long as he wasn't telling you nothing wrong.
You had so much as a kid. You had parents who made you clean up and learn responsibility around the house. You had parents who were home every night and who actually knew what you had done all day long even if they had been working and couldn't be home with you. You had parents who in spite of financial difficulties, made sure that your basic needs were met and they made sure you understood that a child had to stay in a child's place-no matter how big and rusty your ass got.You had respect for adults. You knew not talk when grown folks were talking. You were courteous - you asked people how they were doing and you raked the yards or hung out laundry of old ladies in your neighborhood, whether they paid you or not. You had enough shame not to allow yourself to be seen doing or saying certain things in front of grown folks. You appreciated what your parents did for you, even if it wasn't always what you wanted. You knew that complaining about your teachers would only result in your parents telling you that if you'd only do what was asked of you, your teacher would have no reason to fuss at you. You had imagination. Because your parents didn't buy you every new toy you wanted, you were forced to go outside and find something to do. If you couldn't find anything to do, then you made something up. You had the things that mattered.
In spite of not getting everything I wanted, I can say that I did not lack for the essentials: food, shelter, clothing, and attention from my mother. My mama used to always say that my brother and I may not always have what was in style, but we would be clean and dressed neatly, our hair would be combed/brushed, and our stomachs would be full. She never let us down in that respect and if that constitutes us or me, being spoiled, then go ahead and change my name to Rotten! In fact, I wish more parents would "spoil" their children the same way that my mother spoiled me.
Again, I have no kids so what do I know? I am sure there are parents who can provide for their children AND instill values simultaneously. Sadly, though, most parents do not fall into this category. I just hope that more parents will realize that everything we didn't have pales in comparison to everything we did have. And, if it was good enough for us, why isn't it good enough for our kids?
If I didn't speak candidly, I wouldn't be me...
Thirty and Over or Over Thirty?
I remember when I was in my teens, I wanted to be a part of the 21 and over crowd. Then, in my early 20's, I couldn't wait to be 25 and over. Of course, when I reached my late 20's, I was ready to be 30. When I turned 30 years old, I had a huge birthday party to commemorate the occassion. There is something about being "30 and over" that just makes life seem different.
On New Years' Day, I had the pleasure of spending the first day of the year with my gyrlfriends. Unlike most groups of gyrlfriends, my gyrls and I rarely see each other. We don't gab on the phone for hours on end, nor are we frequently hooking up for nights out on the town. When I'm done writing this post, remind me to go pick a switch because we need our asses whooped for not making more time to spend together. Granted, we are women on the move, that is no reason to not take time out to check in with your gyrls.
During our time together, my gyrls and I talked about many-a-thing, but the conversation that continued to resonate after I'd gone home, and even over a month later, was the "over 30" conversation. One of my gyrls tossed out the phrase, "you know you're over 30 when..." and we all had to complete the statement. We came up with the following list:
You know you're over 30 when...
...you don't spend money in stores that don't appreciate your business - no matter how badly you want that merchandise.
...you have no filter. No more tongue-biting for the sake of being nice.
...you don't cuss out people who clearly deserve to be cussed out. (Seemingly a contradiction of the first point, BUT, instead of cussing them out, you tell 'em off nice-nasty).
...you learn to appreciate people for who they are, rather than trying to change them.
...you know who your real friends are and who your real friends aren't (I think the latter may be more important than the former).
...you no longer feel the need to live up to society's standards and you don't care what anyone thinks about it.
...you are not afraid to lose it all and start over.
...you no longer chase people or situations, but wait for them to come in due time.
The list goes on and I'm sure I have paraphrased what my gyrls really said, but you get the point.
I looked up the word "over" and what I found was interesting. The word over has about 25 definitions and can be used as a noun, verb, preposition, adverb, and adjective. What do my gyrls and I really mean when we say we are over 30? One definition states that over means "more than", as in, "I raised over the amount of my goal." Another defines it as "finished, no longer in progress"; as in, "the party is over. It has ended." I got 'ta thankin' bout this thang and I wondered, are we 30 and over OR are we over 30?
Getting to the place where you can truly come to terms with yourself, your situations, your mistakes and their consequences is big deal. It seems for the first time, my gyrls and I are all in that place. We all have found a particular brand of peace that isn't advertised. Most never find it. We all find ourselves facing what would be considered by all accounts, "tough times", but as we went around the table and said what made us over 30 (more than 30 years old), there was an aire of confidence, satisfaction, and empowerment that can only come from being over 30 (having lived more than 30 years).
So I guess we are a little of both. We are over 30, more than 30 years old, with the wisdom that could only come from the decisions and circumstances that plagued our 20's and the years preceding them. But we are also 30 and over...we are finished and no longer dealing with things that don't matter. We are over the stress, over the games, and over the drama that sometimes attracts our attention when we have not lived long enough to know what does and does not matter.
So, for all my grown-ass women, are you 30 and over, or are you just over 30?
I just felt like being candid...
On New Years' Day, I had the pleasure of spending the first day of the year with my gyrlfriends. Unlike most groups of gyrlfriends, my gyrls and I rarely see each other. We don't gab on the phone for hours on end, nor are we frequently hooking up for nights out on the town. When I'm done writing this post, remind me to go pick a switch because we need our asses whooped for not making more time to spend together. Granted, we are women on the move, that is no reason to not take time out to check in with your gyrls.
During our time together, my gyrls and I talked about many-a-thing, but the conversation that continued to resonate after I'd gone home, and even over a month later, was the "over 30" conversation. One of my gyrls tossed out the phrase, "you know you're over 30 when..." and we all had to complete the statement. We came up with the following list:
You know you're over 30 when...
...you don't spend money in stores that don't appreciate your business - no matter how badly you want that merchandise.
...you have no filter. No more tongue-biting for the sake of being nice.
...you don't cuss out people who clearly deserve to be cussed out. (Seemingly a contradiction of the first point, BUT, instead of cussing them out, you tell 'em off nice-nasty).
...you learn to appreciate people for who they are, rather than trying to change them.
...you know who your real friends are and who your real friends aren't (I think the latter may be more important than the former).
...you no longer feel the need to live up to society's standards and you don't care what anyone thinks about it.
...you are not afraid to lose it all and start over.
...you no longer chase people or situations, but wait for them to come in due time.
The list goes on and I'm sure I have paraphrased what my gyrls really said, but you get the point.
I looked up the word "over" and what I found was interesting. The word over has about 25 definitions and can be used as a noun, verb, preposition, adverb, and adjective. What do my gyrls and I really mean when we say we are over 30? One definition states that over means "more than", as in, "I raised over the amount of my goal." Another defines it as "finished, no longer in progress"; as in, "the party is over. It has ended." I got 'ta thankin' bout this thang and I wondered, are we 30 and over OR are we over 30?
Getting to the place where you can truly come to terms with yourself, your situations, your mistakes and their consequences is big deal. It seems for the first time, my gyrls and I are all in that place. We all have found a particular brand of peace that isn't advertised. Most never find it. We all find ourselves facing what would be considered by all accounts, "tough times", but as we went around the table and said what made us over 30 (more than 30 years old), there was an aire of confidence, satisfaction, and empowerment that can only come from being over 30 (having lived more than 30 years).
So I guess we are a little of both. We are over 30, more than 30 years old, with the wisdom that could only come from the decisions and circumstances that plagued our 20's and the years preceding them. But we are also 30 and over...we are finished and no longer dealing with things that don't matter. We are over the stress, over the games, and over the drama that sometimes attracts our attention when we have not lived long enough to know what does and does not matter.
So, for all my grown-ass women, are you 30 and over, or are you just over 30?
I just felt like being candid...
Saturday, December 31, 2011
You Already Know
On the first day of this year, I started this blog (http://candidconversationswithmarquita.blogspot.com/2011/01/just-start-already.html). It was a huge step for me. At the time, I was thinking that it was time for me to start. Sure, I was already doing a lot, but for every one thing I was doing, there were two more that I wanted to do. I decided this year that I'd just do them already. What a year it has been!
I have to admit, 2011 was not an easy year by any stretch of the imagination. Ya gyrl, has gone through some thangs! However, the good far out weighs the bad and the ugly. (the good, bad, and ugly of 2011 will be explored in a yet-to-be written blog post so stay tuned.) But everything, whether its been good, bad, or ugly, has led me here, to this moment.
As I stand at the threshold of 2012, I would be remiss if I did not revisit the goals I set for myself at the beginning of 2011 or if I did not set any new goals for 2012. Setting goals for the new year is nothing new. People do it all the time. They call it "making resolutions". But here's the gotcha: you already know what will happen in 2012. Why do you need resolutions?
Yes, you already know what is going to happen in 2012. You know what you want and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you even know how to get it. If you know what you want and how to get it, then you already know what will happen in 2012. Either you are going to work harder to be more and have more, or you will continue to find reasons to deny yourself the success you know you deserve. I believe they call that "making excuses".
At the beginning of this year, I challenged you to start already. For 2012, I challenge you to act upon what you already know. Happy New Year!
-Until our next Candid Conversation....
I have to admit, 2011 was not an easy year by any stretch of the imagination. Ya gyrl, has gone through some thangs! However, the good far out weighs the bad and the ugly. (the good, bad, and ugly of 2011 will be explored in a yet-to-be written blog post so stay tuned.) But everything, whether its been good, bad, or ugly, has led me here, to this moment.
As I stand at the threshold of 2012, I would be remiss if I did not revisit the goals I set for myself at the beginning of 2011 or if I did not set any new goals for 2012. Setting goals for the new year is nothing new. People do it all the time. They call it "making resolutions". But here's the gotcha: you already know what will happen in 2012. Why do you need resolutions?
Yes, you already know what is going to happen in 2012. You know what you want and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you even know how to get it. If you know what you want and how to get it, then you already know what will happen in 2012. Either you are going to work harder to be more and have more, or you will continue to find reasons to deny yourself the success you know you deserve. I believe they call that "making excuses".
At the beginning of this year, I challenged you to start already. For 2012, I challenge you to act upon what you already know. Happy New Year!
-Until our next Candid Conversation....
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
For the Love of Money
“Money is the root of all evil” is the most often and misquoted scripture in the Bible. 1 Timothy 6:10 actually reads, “For the love of money is the root of all evil…” If you don’t believe me, you can also refer to the classic O’Jays hit released in 1973, “For the Love of Money”. In a way that only the O’Jays can, they give poignant examples of the evils brought on by the love of money. They cite the following: people stealing from their mothers, robbing their own brothers and women selling their precious bodies. Indeed, those are some pretty serious acts revolving around the love of money. Amazingly, this song released almost 40 years ago is still relevant today.
When I decided several years ago to begin to aggressively work towards becoming financially independent, I began to pay closer attention to ways to increase my income. I quickly learned that aside from having a salary in the upper six-figure range, which was not going to happen as a high school teacher, I needed to have multiple streams of income. So over the years, I have taken many avenues to achieve my financial goals – some lucrative, others not so much. Along the way, I’ve met people even more determined to make millions than I. In short, I’ve met a lot of people who love money and will do almost anything to get it.
Wanting to have money and even having it, are not the issues. Loving money presents the issue. Contrary to the teachings of my future ex-husband, Diddy and the great Notorious B.I.G. (R.I.P.), more money does not bring more problems. More love of money brings more problems. Love of money from leeching family members, fake friends, and greedy agents creates a lot of the problems that people with money experience. Of course money problems are not limited to these examples, but for the purpose of this particular discussion, they are the most sufficient. When people get a taste of what it’s like to have something they’ve never had before it brings out another side of them. Either they overspend, become overly charitable with mooching family members, or begin to worship the money and spend more time doing whatever it takes to acquire more of it. What I’m talking about is usually a result of the latter.
God wants us to be prosperous, so there is no harm in wanting to have money. The harm arises from a love of money that is deep enough to cause us to change the way we treat people and how we carry ourselves. In my business ventures, I’ve run across people that love you when your numbers are high-can’t get enough of you, could drink your bath water-okay…you get it. But let those numbers drop; let your business start to struggle, and those same associates who could have eaten you up will not want to be bothered-they become disinterested, “miss” all of your phone calls-okay…going too far again, you get the point. Some people will do whatever they have to do to get ahead. They love you when you can contribute to that effort and don’t know you if you are of no benefit to them. Money, rather the love of it, truly changes things. A person who places the value of money over all else is one to be watched closely.
We all want to live a nice life, but we should never place riches above people, because there are just some things that money cannot pay for. And, the same people that we step on on the way up, may be the ones we need help from on the way down. So, do seek to have it all-you deserve the best! Just don’t allow the love of money to surpass everything else there is to live for.
1 Timothy 6:10 continues, “…which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” In other words, when we place the love of money in such a high regard, we forget about those things upon which our faith should be built and because of that we suffer. Mo’ love of money, Mo’ problems! If Biblical scriptures are not your thing, then just take the advice given by Diamond in The Player’s Club, “make that money, don’t let it make you”. Some people got to have it, some people really need it, in either case, don’t let money rule you!
Until our next conversation…
Sunday, August 14, 2011
We Can't Be Friends
Someone must have changed the definition of the word friend and forgot to cc me on the email. This is particularly the case when it comes to relationships between men and women. Relationships that are supposed to be platonic, relationships called “friendships” between men and women, have taken a turn that I apparently know nothing about. It seems the word friend has double, maybe even triple meanings, when used to describe a relationship between a man and a woman.
Case in point: As I was taking my morning run a couple of weeks ago, I was approached and complimented by a fellow-runner. Nothing uncommon. As we completed our workout, he and I engaged in conversation about fitness. Nothing uncommon. At the end of my run, this guy asked me if we could be friends and possibly run together. Again, nothing uncommon. This very same scenario could have easily occurred with a female. I am an equal opportunity friend-maker. So, I said, “Sure!” We agreed on a time to run the next day and exchanged numbers in the event that anything changed. As far as I was concerned, this would be a nice person to keep me motivated during my runs. Nothing more, nothing less. Boy was I wrong.
Before I could arrive home (and I only live about 10 minutes from the park), this guy had sent three text messages, one including a picture of himself! I was outdone! What part of running partners did he not understand? Further, I had already told him that I was romantically unavailable. Why would he think that we would be more than running partners after only one conversation? Needless to say, I informed him that we would, in fact, not be running together and that he should not contact me anymore. Extreme? Maybe so, but I say what I mean and mean what I say. In my world, running partners means running partners and there is no need to text me pictures or anything else not related to running. No double or triple meanings here.
The notion that our interaction meant more than it did had me perplexed until I gave it a bit more thought. Obviously, the word friend is used to describe various types of relationships-not just friendships. Come to think of it, I have friends who misuse the word friend, using it to describe someone with whom they might be creeping, sleeping, or otherwise carrying on. It didn’t cross my mind that this guy would misread our interaction. Maybe I am naïve, but I don’t assume that every man who talks to me is interested in me. For me, he couldn’t be anything other than a running partner. Ya’ll know I got a sweet thang. But he must be accustomed to dealing with women who play the friendship game; calling themselves friends but participating in activities that go beyond what would be included in a platonic relationship. Otherwise, why would he have this expectation?
Obviously, I am old school when it comes to being friends with men. I have quite a few very close male friends. For me, that is all we are now, all that we have ever been. As far as I know, that’s all we will ever be. I don’t blur the lines between myself and my male friends. There is just no reason to. That’s what my sweet thang is for. I also do not tell men that we can be friends with the intent of being more than friends. There is just no reason to. It may not be trendy to be upfront with people but I’ve found that it saves a lot of confusion in the long run. I won’t be sitting around wishing I never did it and wishing I never loved it, all because I used the word friend in the wrong context. No thank you. I will continue to be clear about my intentions with people, especially men.
If I do not intend to be more than friends, I will not pretend that I do. I know that most women will continue to play games with men by doing the following: going on dates with guys they aren’t interested in, taking multiple drinks from a guy at the club then proceeding to ignore his calls for the next two weeks, or stringing him along knowing that she is already involved with someone who she plans to remain involved with-all the while, claiming this guy as a friend. I just hope that you all understand that when we play these games, we change the rules for not only ourselves but for all the other women out there who are seeking true friendships and relationships. Do what you will, but as for me, I’ll maintain that we can’t be friends, unless we are truly being friends.
Candidly speaking, I’ve enjoyed our conversation.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
You Must Not Be Hungry
I vividly remember being hungry as a child, but not knowing exactly what I had a taste for. I'd tell my grandmama that I was hungry and she'd answer, "go eat." Irritated, I would stomp to the refrigerator (often followed by warnings of a whooping if I didn't "walk like I had some damn sense"), open the door, stare inside, close the door and stomp back to the living room (of course stopping the stomping before my grandmama could hear it). My grandmama would give me that "I dare you to complain look" and I'd repeat this scene over and over until I wore my fool self out. After allowing me to look foolish for a while, my grandmama would say, "you must not be hungry." Hmph...I think about that today, and I have to say, YOU must not be hungry.
Saying what we need to do and want to do, looking at options, and even making plans for how to get it done, but then not following through indicates that we must not be hungry. Do we really want the things we say we want if we are not willing to work for them?
My grandmama taught me a long time ago that when we are hungry, we eat. Not only do we eat, but eat what we have. Beyond that, we do it without complaining or holding out for something else. Look in your fridge and take inventory. What do you have available to you that can help you get to where you say you want to be? Are you utilizing it to its full potential? If not, then you must not be hungry. You see, a hungry person doesn't have time to overanalyze, criticize, or complain about what he or she does not have. A hungry person sees what is in the fridge and begins to consider all the possibilities of what could be. Don't tell me you've never created a new dish using the last little bit of whatever you could find. I know I have-hence the birth of the fried bologna with mustard and sugar on lightly toasted end pieces of bread (and if I ever feel I am getting too big for my britches, I make one just to remind myself of where I come from). When it comes down to it, a hungry person does what has to be done with what he or she already has.
Perhaps we have become comfortable with ourselves such that we are not as hungry as we used to be. I challenge you, though, to dig deep and think about those things that you know you want to do and what is keeping them from doing them. Are you hungry? If so, you will stop making trips to the fridge, looking inside, yet pulling nothing out to eat. If you are hungry, you will take what's in your fridge and do with it the very best you can. If you are hungry, you'll eat and eat now. If you are hungry, you will create your own recipe, using the ingredients you have available to you right now and move yourself one step closer to where you really want to be.
Friends, I thank you for sharing this Candid Conversation.
Saying what we need to do and want to do, looking at options, and even making plans for how to get it done, but then not following through indicates that we must not be hungry. Do we really want the things we say we want if we are not willing to work for them?
My grandmama taught me a long time ago that when we are hungry, we eat. Not only do we eat, but eat what we have. Beyond that, we do it without complaining or holding out for something else. Look in your fridge and take inventory. What do you have available to you that can help you get to where you say you want to be? Are you utilizing it to its full potential? If not, then you must not be hungry. You see, a hungry person doesn't have time to overanalyze, criticize, or complain about what he or she does not have. A hungry person sees what is in the fridge and begins to consider all the possibilities of what could be. Don't tell me you've never created a new dish using the last little bit of whatever you could find. I know I have-hence the birth of the fried bologna with mustard and sugar on lightly toasted end pieces of bread (and if I ever feel I am getting too big for my britches, I make one just to remind myself of where I come from). When it comes down to it, a hungry person does what has to be done with what he or she already has.
Perhaps we have become comfortable with ourselves such that we are not as hungry as we used to be. I challenge you, though, to dig deep and think about those things that you know you want to do and what is keeping them from doing them. Are you hungry? If so, you will stop making trips to the fridge, looking inside, yet pulling nothing out to eat. If you are hungry, you will take what's in your fridge and do with it the very best you can. If you are hungry, you'll eat and eat now. If you are hungry, you will create your own recipe, using the ingredients you have available to you right now and move yourself one step closer to where you really want to be.
Friends, I thank you for sharing this Candid Conversation.
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